STORIES BY MANYAVAR & MOHEY

Lifestyle
Shaadi Season Etiquette: Dos & Don'ts For Desi Couples
Date 18 May 2025 Reading time: 7-10 mins
Ask a dozen Indian couples what wedding planning is like, and chances are, you'll get a dozen different answers. But amidst the chaos of vendor meetings, decor decisions, and guest list politics, there's one aspect that often gets overlooked – wedding etiquette.
Now, before you roll your eyes and dismiss it as an old-fashioned concept, hear us out. Wedding ceremony etiquette isn't about being prim and proper or putting on airs. It's about being considerate, respectful, and mindful of the feelings of those around you. And in a country as diverse as India, where wedding customs vary from region to region, community to community, it becomes even more important to navigate these unspoken rules with sensitivity and grace.
Understanding Wedding Etiquette: An Overview
So, what exactly is wedding ceremony etiquette? In simple terms, it's a set of guidelines that dictate appropriate behaviour for couples, their families, and guests at weddings. It covers everything from what to wear and how to RSVP, to gift-giving and social media dos and don'ts.
Of course, Indian wedding ceremony etiquette comes with its own unique set of nuances. For instance, did you know that in many communities, it's considered inauspicious for the bride to wear white? Or that public displays of affection are generally frowned upon during the ceremony? These may seem like small details, but they can make a big difference in how your wedding is perceived by others.
The Importance of Wedding Etiquette
You might be thinking, "But it's my wedding, shouldn't I be able to do whatever I want?" And while there's certainly some truth to that, it's important to remember that a wedding is also a social occasion that brings together people from different backgrounds and belief systems. By being mindful, you're not only showing respect for your guests, but also setting the tone for your marriage.
Think about it this way – your wedding day is the first official event you'll host as a married couple. The way you conduct yourselves and treat your guests will leave a lasting impression and set the stage for future interactions. Plus, in a culture where weddings are often seen as a reflection of family values and status, adhering to certain wedding ceremony etiquette norms can help avoid any unnecessary drama or gossip.
Wedding Etiquette Dos and Don'ts
Now that we've established why wedding reception etiquette matters, let's dive into some specific dos and don'ts for couples and guests alike. Whether you're a bride-to-be, a groom-in-waiting, or a cherished invitee, these tips will help you navigate the wonderful world of Indian weddings with poise and self-confidence.
Wedding Etiquette Tips for Guests
As a wedding guest, your role is to celebrate the happy couple and share in their joy. Here are some key wedding reception etiquette points to keep in mind:
- RSVP promptly: One of the important wedding etiquette tips is to RSVP as soon as you receive the invitation. It helps them finalise headcounts for catering and seating arrangements.
- Dress appropriately: Take your cue from the invitation and wedding dress code. For Indian weddings, kurta for men, sarees, lehengas, and sherwani for men are always a safe bet.
- Be punctual: Indian weddings are known for running on "IST" (Indian Stretchable Time), but that doesn't mean you should stroll in whenever you feel like it. Aim to arrive at the venue at least 15-20 minutes before the stated time.
- Mind your manners: During the ceremony, be respectful of religious customs and traditions, even if they differ from your own. Avoid talking loudly, using your phone, or chewing gum during the pheras.
- Don't bring uninvited guests: Unless your invitation specifically includes a plus-one, resist the urge to bring along a date or your kids.
Wedding Ceremony Etiquette: A Guide for Couples and Guests
The wedding ceremony is the heart and soul of the celebrations, and it comes with its own set of wedding etiquette tips and guidelines. Here are some key points to remember:
- Arrive on time: As the bride and groom, it's crucial that you arrive at the venue well before the scheduled start time.
- Respect religious customs: If you're having a traditional ceremony, be sure to familiarise yourselves with the customs and rituals beforehand. This shows respect for your families' traditions and helps the ceremony run smoothly.
- Seat guests thoughtfully: When creating your seating chart, take into account any family dynamics or special needs. Seat elderly guests closer to the front, and try to avoid placing people with known conflicts next to each other.
- Thank your officiant: Whether you have a priest, pandit, or civil officiant, be sure to thank them for their services. A small gift or token of appreciation is always a nice touch.
As a guest, your main role during the ceremony is to be present wearing traditional outfits and supportive.
Wedding Reception Etiquette: Making the Most of the Celebration
Ah, the reception – that magical time when the formalities are over and the real party begins! But before you hit the dance floor, keep these wedding reception etiquette tips in mind:
- Greet the couple and their parents: Be sure to find the newlyweds and their families to offer your congratulations and best wishes.
- Follow the seating assignments: If there's a seating chart, stick to it. The couple has likely put a lot of thought into who sits where, and switching seats can cause confusion and hurt feelings.
- Hit the dance floor: Weddings are a time to let loose and celebrate! Don't be afraid to join in the festivities, even if you're not a confident dancer.
- Give a heartfelt toast: If you're called upon to give a toast, keep it short, sweet, and sincere. Focus on the couple and their love story, and avoid inside jokes.
Common Wedding Etiquette Mistakes to Avoid
Even with the best intentions, it's easy to make etiquette missteps at weddings. Here are some common wedding reception etiquette mistakes to watch out for:
- Wearing red: As mentioned earlier, these colours are reserved for the bride in Indian weddings. Opt for other shades to avoid any awkwardness.
- Bringing a large or unwieldy gift: While gifts are always appreciated, lugging a huge box to the reception can be cumbersome for both you and the couple.
- Posting photos on social media without permission: It's tempting to post photos in real-time. But some couples may prefer to keep their wedding offline, so be sure to ask before sharing anything on social media.
- Skipping the RSVP: Failing to respond to the invitation isn't just rude, it can also throw off the couple's headcount and seating arrangements.
- Bringing kids without asking: One of the must-remember wedding etiquette tips, if your invitation doesn't specifically include children, it's best to leave them at home with a sitter.
Final Word on Shaadi Season Etiquette
At the end of the day, wedding reception etiquette is about being considerate, respectful, and present. It's about setting aside your own preferences and desires to honour the couple and their families. And in a culture as rich and diverse as India's, it's about embracing the beauty of our traditions while also making space for new customs and ways of celebrating.
So whether you're a bride, groom, or guest, remember that a little kindness and mindfulness can go a long way. Dress your best, show up with an open heart, and let the love and joy of the occasion be your guide. And if all else fails, just remember one of the golden wedding etiquette tips of Indian weddings – when in doubt, dance it out!